Saturday, October 15, 2011

One Year

One year ago I started this chronicle. We found out that our second oldest grandson was a Fragile X child. Now a year later we have two more grandchildren with Fragile X Syndrome. They have had it all along we just did not know for sure, I guess.

Erin, our granddaughter, was tested and she has a full mutation. We are blessed in that she is extremely smart and does well in school except for math. She is shy and vivacious at the same time. She has her moments which we now understand more.
She is such a joy to all us, especially Marcia who always wanted a daughter.

Then this week after being told over a year and half ago that the youngest, Cale, had PDD-NOS but that was all we now know that he has the mutation as well.

My Granny Baker, had six children. She out lived all but one. A still born at 16, lost her fourth son when he was 4, her first and fifth sons in their fifties, her third son when he was sixty.

She told me during a time of great heartache in my life there was never a day without heartache and never a day without joy, just some days the heartache would crawl over the joy. My children and all parents of Fragile X children or parents of any child with a seriously debilitating condition have days when the heartache crawls over the joy. Days when it is hard to hold your chin up and be positive for their children and their spouse. Days when the question is "why me, why my child?"

I once read that you are only as happy as your unhappiest child. This is so true and is one the heaviest burdens of parenthood. When you have a child that is in pain and you cannot ease it the pain manifests itself within you also.

The anxiety of the unknown for our Fragile X kids brings on the heartache. Seeing their happy and loving faces, getting big hugs and seeing them progress in the smallest of ways brings on the joy.

Then I look at parents with children who have other conditions. Cerebral Palsy, MS, Muscular Dystrophy or even worse terminal illnesses. Things could always be worse.

I have said this before but Brandi is a wonderful mother but even more a special person. She has to deal with the imbalance between heartache and joy everyday. She has to overcome the frustration and temper her expectations in an never ending tug of war.

Brandi and Chris have and continue to take the issues before them head on. While it is a heartache for us watch the frustration and anxiety in their lives, the joy crawls over that heartache in witnessing the strength of their character and their resolve to make life as good as possible for their special children.

1 comment:

  1. As always Jim you find the words to express the way that I feel so deep inside but struggle to say myself. Thank you and Marcia for all that you do for our babies. I am so thankful and feel very lucky that we are all part of the same family.
    Love you both!